So wadkins needs some flutes to switch over.  10 is too many in orchestra.  He’d help pay for the instrument and private lessons.  So I figure, hey why not?  I’d like to learn something new.. and for free!  If I stay in the flute section, I may not get to play all of the time.  Which would suck.  However… I am one of the better ones, so he might not let me switch anyway.  But if I can… I’m still not sure.  If we do “Peter and the Wolf” this year…   I don’t want to miss it.  I’ve practiced that damn thing too much.  I’m going to play it, damnit.  -_-  BUT… if I don’t get to play it anyway, that would sure suck ass… so what do you think?  Votes everyone?  Trumpet or Oboe?  Eeeh??  lol.  Oboe would probably make more sense… but I don’t know if I could play on that reed…  But trumpet is a valve.. that’d be odd.  SO I’ll talk to wadkins about it on Monday.  The only thing that would stop me is “Peter and the Wolf” hmmm…

“Above all to thine ownself be true.” – Shakespeare (on mrs. johnson’s wall)

Time to talk about school, right?    Gee I wonder what peoples’ xangas are about… 

The morning seems way too short.. but I suppose that’s normal for the first week or so.  Orchestra… 10 flutes!!  Ha!  10!!!  Too many compared to the rest of the orchestra.. oh well.  Aaand then I walk with Nicole to AP Lit… sit next to ANN!!!!  lol.  And Mandi’s in that class.. and of course Nicole and… Amy.    We had a quiz over Siddhartha.  Easy stuff.  Aaand then off to eh… Etymology.  Eh.  Not any good friends in that class, but I have aquaintences.. soo.. that works.  Just read in that class anyway.  Then tooo… sociology.  Saw Ms. Venderly on the way and gave her a big hug!  lol.  I didn’t like her much at the beg. of last year, but toward the end, she grew on me.    Andrea and Sara are in my sociology class.  Along with some other girlies I believe I’ll end up being friends with by the end of the semester.  And this one guy… whoo… lol, cute!  Yeah yeah, whatever.  Probably and idiot or a partyer or something of the sort.    Aaand then to lunch.  A LUNCH!  lol, I thought I had B with like.. nobody.  Well, I think Nathan said he might have B, but I never knew for sure.  And Jacky thought she had A.. but now she’s B.  But I sit with Logy, Brit, Andy, Michelle, Cale, and Andrea.  Fun table!  lol… just like our Friday parties only add Brit and subtract Lori.  The lunch… is so.. crowded.  It is ridiculous.  Seems much worse than last year or the year before.  Anyway, then off to math.  Kai’s in there… along with Nicole aand Mandi and Julia.  Yay homework!  -_-  Oh well, I was first to get it done.  Then French with Fryzel!!!  lol, I already love the guy.  I’m in there with Greg, Jen, Nicole, and Kaitlyn.    lol, Nicole and I don’t talk all that much, but we’re sure in a lot of classes together.. Fire drill the first day.. ran into Baker!  Then band of course.  Oh shoot I forgot to torment Nicole about her having to pee and being too lazy to go… Anyhoo!  -_- Brennen threw water all over me today.  lol, and made an unkind joke!!!  Gonna get him back… Aaaand people were talking way too much in band today.  Oh well… their pushups!  muahahaha…  lol, no I’m not that evil.  Probably should be… so for the rest of the night, I’m just going to eeeh.. get a shower.. aand talk online!  Yay.

“the!” – zeb to andrea…. somehow managing to make her completely crack up laughing on the bus.  0_0 cale, zeb, and I were worried about her!!

So… today has been interesting.  Band… tearing up the drill as we do every monday.  Flutes can actually march that circle set now.  Got ice cream with Andrew… it was a alright overall I guess.  Started to crash and burn toward the end…  but fun in the beginning.  So… I don’t know.  Another pal.  Nice… lovely… peaceful chats online.  Mmmmhm.  Just been listening to music and thinking a lot.  And… I’m not sure if that song is on his “Hits” album.  I just have it on my playlist from the internet.  But anyway… I’ve had better days.  But you know.. Tuesday has started off interesting… and I’m going to be optimistic that will be the case for a very long time.

Sigh. 

So I actually went to bed last night at a decent hour!  I can’t remember my dream.  Poo.  Going to Evan’s party soon.  I wonder who will be there…. I really don’t think I’ll stay long.  Already went to Cale’s party yesterday.  Very looong party, lol.  Fun as always.  Evan’s starts at 2:30 and lasts til midnight I think…. eeeh.. lol… a bit partied-out. 

Oh and hey peoples.  Anyone up for a movie this coming Monday before school starts?  Attempting to get a group together.  It’d be… afternoon or evening.  Not too late.  Comment on here or on my chatterbox if you are…  IMs work too.    Anyhoo, off I go. 

Hi….

I just eh.. woke up.  Um… really… really bad nightmare.  Yeah…  A bit traumatized.  Can’t sleep.. correction:  will not go back to sleep.  So… yeah…

I was in band practice.  Normal practice.  Then Barber/Wadkins say how we can’t be late coming back.  I turn to Brit all confused, “come back for what?”  Apparently, I somehow completely missed that we were going to…. was it California?… for the weekend.  Leaving Friday… Coming back Monday night.  And I had to hurry and go to home and pack some things and take a shower and change clothes.  I remember thinking I was going to miss Evan’s party on Saturday and I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again…….  So I got to the car… saw Brit and Josh (graduated last year)  going to the plane.. which was… in Homestead parking lot.  …. We got a whole lot richer!  Yeah funny ha ha.  …  (at least I can still crack jokes…)  So.. got in the car.  It was a convertible.  The dream seemed so lifelike.  I mean okay weekend trip on a plane that was in the parking lot is far-fetched, but you know what I mean.  Everything looked like it should look.. people acted like they should act… Homestead was just really rich.  So you know.. I thought it was life.  Sometimes I think while I’m dreaming it that it’s a dream.  Not…. this at all.  Anyway… so yeah got in the car.  She started driving somewhat quickly… sped up some cause I was in a hurry.  I had my blue homestead bag in my lap like I did all during band camp when she picked me up… normal, right?  Well.. going down Homestead road headed toward the 4-way with Liberty Mills.. which… was a 3-way in my dream.  You know how in real life, you can keep going straight, right?  Well, that was cut off..  A giant hill.  Had the railing there to attempt to stop cars.  It was such a steep grassy hill…. must’ve almost been as deep as the grand canyon… anyway…. She didn’t turn.  It was as if we thought the road was there or something, like it really is.  I don’t know.  But the car went over the railing… either over or through I couldn’t tell…. although I didn’t feel a jerk, so over it somehow I’m guessing… My feet were latched under the front of the car… know what I mean?  Just, where your feet go in the car… and I was holding onto it so I wouldn’t fall out of the convertible.  Somehow I held on.  And I was holding onto my bag ha… I heard my mom saying, “That was the bank?!  That was the bank?!?!!”  Twice… maybe three times.  I saw the car plummeting to the ground… faster… the ground coming toward us… everything just coming together to an inevitible end… but it took a few seconds… or was it instants, I don’t know.  I just barely glanced at my mom kind of out of the corner of my eye saying, “That was the bank?!” and looked back at the ground coming closer faster and faster… then just closed my eyes.  I was frightened… terrified… but I tried to calm myself.  I said, “I love you, God” and… “Take care of Logy for me”  which doesn’t make much sense to me other than the fact I was trying to console him last night over his not being able to talk to Lori since she’s… grounded or something?  A mystery.  But anyway… I opened my eyes again after that… I felt… calm.  I guess.  After I opened them again.  I watched us coming to the ground.  My mom was silent… either that or I just… didn’t hear anything… everything felt silent… except this.. odd.. high-pitched, yet somewhat quiet whistling noise.. like what a tea kettle sounds like when it’s ready.  And the pressure… so much pressure… the closer we got, the more pressure I felt.  It was insane how much pressure I felt… as we were about to hit… the whistling noise getting louder and the pressure getting harder and the car moving faster… I closed my eyes again… and thought to myself…. just calmly stated in my mind… “I’m going to die.”  And then I heard the crash.  Not a very loud one.  More like a simple “boom” and everything went black gradually, but very very quickly.  And while I was coming back into consciousness… I thought “I’m dead… oh my god I’m dead.  I’m dead.” as I slowly woke up.  More frantic than I was before, but… still pretty damn calm for the situation.  Then I opened my eyes… and as I did so, I just joyously thought, “I’m alive!!!!  I’m alive!”  …and then after I realized what it was there was all that, “it was a dream.  it was a dream…  oh my god…. oh my god!..”  yeeah… I lied there for a long time.  Kinda stunned.  I mean I’ve had a dream or two before that I died.  Once when I was little, I was stabbed in the heart by an all-blue lady in my bathroom.  And… I can’t remember the other one.  But none so… lifelike.  So detailed.  I woke up sweating and my heart hasn’t beaten that fast in my entire life.  It really… really terrified me.  It was just a dream, yeah yeah, I’ll be fine… and.. I am.  I’m just… well.  Not many things really get to me.  …yeah…. well.  After the shock went away, I wanted my Butthead.    Probably seems silly…  Yeah.. wow.. anyway… I figured I ought to document that.  What better way than a xanga??  Yeah… k… I’m just going to… eeh… sit here… maybe listen to music… or see what’s on tv… … yeah.  I just realized I’m starving.  … guess I’ll go eat something… or sit here.  That works…

“I’m going to die.” – me

Hehehheehehehehehe… 

Nimo came first. 

So I’ve been looking up college info again…  I want to go into counseling, right?  Well… I juuuust don’t know if I would stay in Bloomington for my phd.  I’d rather get that later in life anyway, I think… a lot of schooling.  Maybe after my Masters I’d start a family.. then get my phd later in life after my kids are older.  Anyway, looked up some colleges that specialize in psychology… California seems to be full of what I need.  There’s one in Wisconsin.. but only for clinical psychology.  One in Illinois… but not for marriage/family counseling.  And here’s California’s list of colleges that just seems to be perfect for me:

Argosy University -

Counseling Psychology, Clinical Psychology, Marriage and Family Therapy, Organizational Leadership, Forensic Psychology

Dominican University of California -

Counseling Psychology, Marriage & Family Therapy

Mount St. Mary’s College -

Counseling Psychology, Marriage & Family Therapy, Human Services & Personnel Counseling

Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center of San Francisco -

Psychology, Marriage & Family Therapy

University of Phoenix -

Marriage, Family & Child Counseling, Family & Child Therapy

University of San Franciso – School of Education -

Counseling Psychology – Marriage & Family Therapy

And did Indiana pop up in the search results?  mm no.  lol, oh well.  Pretty sure I’d be a happier camper to finally get out of Indiana.  California… hm.  Not that bad I guess.  I’m just frightened of earthquakes.  Tried to find something in New Mexico, Arizona, or Texas (three places I believe I’d like to live someday).  Didn’t find anything too promising…  Only one thing that bothers me.  Some of those colleges in CA are Catholic schools.  I’m not… Catholic.  I guess that doesn’t matter.  But that’ll be so damned expensive.  -_-  Ooooh weeeeeell.  They most likely wouldn’t be considered “party schools” ahem.  Many years from now anyway.  Who knows what I’ll be doing.  Bloomington seems to have everything I need…  But you know… I’ve lived in Ft. Wayne… in the same house my entire life.  Then I’m just going to move a little south and live in Indiana even longer.  Never been on a vacation besides Cedarpoint and Arizona.  (and of course I fell in love with Arizona… makes sense)  0_0 If I end up staying… it’s very likely I’ll end up getting settled… not really wanting to move… possibly find a husband who wants to live in Indiana.. end up staying here and finally getting a phD… have my nightmare come true.  The midwestern, suburban family life for my future.  Hmmmmm…. Shelbi needs more excitement than that.  Although Shelbi will also be broke… I think Shelbi needs to just focus on high school for now.    Maybe I’ll just be an actress and marry Tom Cruise.  Problems solved!

“Men will always be mad and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all.” – Voltaire (teehee)

2005 BAND CAMP IS NOW OVER!  But of course we still have lots of practice next week.  Aaaand the carwash tomorrow.  EVERYone needs to come to the Walgreens over on Scott Rd. around noon to 2 tomorrow.  Yep yep.  Get your car washed there.  Anyway, so I went to a party at Andy’s.  Yaaaay party.  lol.  I finally watched “Moulin Rouge”!!!  I liked it.  I have a vedi bad headache.  I tend to get those a lot lately… 

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” - Toulouse in the movie.  I like that quote.   

“Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone,
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.”  -Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

Well, today was alright.  Yay for complete run-through with music!  Yeppers.  So ANYway.  Lunch with butthead again.  I wonder if we’ll get out early tomorrow…  hm.  Doesn’t matter much.  Can’t believe tomorrow’s Friday already.  This week has gone by very quickly.  Party tomorrow!  Yaaay.  I hope Cale has a party.  (hear that cale?)  lol, I certainly love pools.  Otherwise, I guess we’ll all be watching “Moulin Rouge” at Andrea’s.  …  HMM… lol… movie anyone?  I am very tired.  Okay get this, night before last night, went to bed at 1 something (I think) thanks to a certain buttmunch.  Wasn’t tired at all that following morning.  …mhm…  THEN last night went to bed around 8:30… lol.. I’m wiped out.  Guess it’s just because of the funky sleep schedule.  Anyhooooo…. I am going to talk to my buddy pals Cale and Jacky now!!  Yaaay.  lol.

Chilichacha89: when they ask
Chilichacha89: “does anyone object to this engagment”
Chilichacha89: half the place will stand up xD

  HAHAHA!

GET WELL SOON LOGY!!!