So... I've really had some second thoughts lately about becoming a psychologist.  It's in my top 5 career choices... it seems grounded... easy to have a family and all... something I really would love doing... BUT... why not go for my dream career?  (my realistic one lol.. not astronaut)... a pilot!  Close enough eh?  Hm.  I've been searching for information about schooling for it... Indiana is... not... good lol.  Not for flight school.  I'd have to go to the cheapest school possible to get my core classes done here and then... transfer to Embry-Riddle.  Which is one... f-ing awesome college.  It is the best aviation university in the entire world.  Has a campus in Prescott, Arizona and Daytona Beach, Florida.  Live 15 minutes from the beach.... aaaahhh yes...  BUT... I haven't begun to find out prices for stuff.  I know the salary. 

Regional Airlines (Small Jet Providers), $16,000-$21,000/year
Part 91 &135 (Corporate, Charter Operators), $20,000-$40,000/year
Government Agencies (FBI, DEA, Customs), $32,000-$37,000/year

First Officer pay starts out around $32K with a 30-year captain potentially making $180K-$200K.  If the airline holds strong, pilots will retire at 60.

SO, once I'm captain, I'd be making a shit-load.  But that takes a very long time lol.  I mean... the payment is average.  I wouldn't be a regional airline pilot... the other two are okay.  Working for the government might be interesting.  .... I could fly Air Force One!  lol... ooor not... 

I've also been looking more into the.... Air... Force.  ...  Hm.  Yeah.  I looked into that my freshman year and gave up the idea.  Eeeh... I don't know.  50-60k to start off... and it just increases from there as you are awarded more.  And if there happens to be a war, they can't send females into combat.  He..hehe..hehe...    lol, unfair, but I find it humorous.  One of very few things women enjoy inequality.  But anyway, I'd have to go through boot camp.  And there are physical requirements.  I'd have to be in it for 10 yrs. to become a First Officer... which is the same as Embry-Riddle.  5 yrs. after that, you can become a lieutenant.  Or you could get out of the military after 10 yrs and become a pilot.  SOOO... if I weren't so against the military, the AirForce really would be the way to go.  More money... trained by representatives from Embry-Riddle anyway.  So I don't know.  I can't see me in the Airforce.  It just... freaks me out.  I mean, when I think of the adventurous side of it, oh yes.  I LOVE the idea... buuuut lol... just the ... structured lifestyle.  Saluting and "YES SIR" and all that.  Tidy little beds and a strict schedule...  I mean the list never ends.  I don't know if my personality could adapt to that.  And, once I'm in it, I can't... get out.  Unless I want to have it on my record as being dishonorably discharged.  I think that starts after boot camp, but I could be wrong.  May start from the minute you step foot on their turf.  The intelligence level of requirements isn't too strict, so I'm worried about what idiots I would come across.  Course, you know.  There are idiots wherever you go lol.  Just.. a lot of people go to the military to get out of college.  I suppose that'd be more like the army or something, though.  So... I don't know about the Air Force.  I just... really don't think I could conform that kind of lifestyle....

Being a helicopter pilot would be cool, too.  Embry-Riddle doesn't do that...  I don't believe.  They probably get paid less, though.  I stuppose.  SO yeah... I'm just thinking it's dumb of me to settle for something I may be unhappy with years from now.  Course... I may be sick of flying after years and years of it, too.  Ooooh I don't know.  I've always been interested in flying something.  A spaceship, a plane... Lots of math.  Hm.  lol.... WELL I guess I'll stick to psychology them, ahem...    lol.  Oh, I'm actually good at math when I take time to apply myself.  It'd just take me a while to get back into it.  I used to actually like math... scary eh?  I'll take honors physics next year.. hopefully I'll like that.  Sigh... I'd be giving up a lot of money to do this.  80-90k a year for a psychologist.  Well, it really depends though.  If I end up with just an MFT (marriage/family) then I could make anywhere from 40-50k.  I can assure myself no matter what I do, I'll at least get 30k.  Which is about average right?  Little on the lower end...  Or a lot on the lower end lol...  damn.  I DONT KNOW!!!  Okay people, y'all gots to vote. 

VOTE YOUR OPINION!

Should I be a psychologist?  Or a pilot?

I heart Bon Jovi!!!!  ... lol.  I'm sweaty, my jeans are sticking to me, and I have a pounding headache, but I feel great!  Dancing around like a goofus for about 2 hrs now lol.  Yes!!    Music's the remedy for anything.  Well, for now anyway.  It is really f-ing hot in here.  I have so much hw!  I orginally printed off every website for my ap gov research paper over secondhand smoke.... BUT seems I have about 50 pages worth of websites, I think copying and pasting them from online into some sort of organization in notepad would be best.  Yeeeah...  AAAH GUESS WHAT?!?!?  I have REALLY good news.  My AP tests are free!!!  HAHA!!!  Being poor has its advantages.  We don't have to pay a thing.  Sooo that also means I can wait a few more months before making friendly with my dad.  Bleh.  Yay for putting off things that matter lol...  Oh and guess what else???  I've FINALLY... OFFICIALLY... talked Brit into going to IU!!  She's set on it now!  Eeeee!!!  lol.  So, now the only thing stopping us from going to IU is... either her circumstances change... some..how... or I can't afford it.  Hopefully both will work out.  I think they will.    Eee!!  lol, I'm so excited.  Now I just have to get all of my other friends to plan on coming, too lol.  Well, a lot of them are already.. so that's good.  And don't get me wrong... I'm still upset over the whole issue with Brandon, buuut what's the point in moping about it.  I don't know how many times I've heard, "How ya holding up?" in the past two days.  I'm kinda suprised people aren't saying "I told you so" like they have every other time when it has come to him.  Gotta love your pals.    lol

It's my liiiife 
And it's noow or neeever.. 
'Cause I ain't gonna LIVE foreverrr!!! 
I just wanna liiiive when Iiii'm aliiiive...     

-Bon Jovi

Hmm.... I really got squat done for hw this weekend.  Oh well.  I had to print a ton of papers after school today.  Like...15 or so.  Bleh.  Hm whoops I never read Hamlet...  ah whatever.  Hm Joey called me earlier.  I didn't answer the phone.  How can that boy always be so cheerful when his life is such a complicated mess?  Maybe he just doesn't... think about it.  Don't know.  Well anyway, this is awesome.  Walked down to my dad's house to get AP test money... of course my mom threw a fit.  Got there.. he isn't home.  He's coming home at 7:45ish.  Got back home.. mom threw another fit.  She acts like a child.  Literally.. a tantrum.  She actually threatened to "call Brandon" and make a scene if I go back there.  lol... I don't know why she sticks her nose in my business so much.  I mean here she is now.. in my room... not leaving.  God she's pathetic. 

But I shouldn't take my anger out on her I suppose.  Afterall, she isn't the one who has been lying to me for weeks.  My friends have been extremely supportive.  :-T  Especially Jacky and Logy.  And Mandi even.  I'm trying my best to make her feel better, too.  :T  You know... Logy should be the one to be upset that I didn't listen to him in the first place.  Bleh.  I feel guilty.  Well, okay.. I'll NEVER not believe him again.  Eh?  lol...  It's just.. when it's something this important, when you love someone... and believe it when he says he loves you too... then you don't want to believe that he's lying to you.  Who knows, he could still be going out with Sarah.  I don't really care anymore.  He lied to Mandi and he lied to me.  I'm so sick of being his little secret.  I'm so damn sick of it.  Ever since we started talking and getting close again these past months, I've been a secret.  And said it was his "only option" or whatever.  Right.  Always chooses to lie.  Saying it's only physical with me to Mandi to reassure her... telling me he loves me and that we're "meant to be" to keep me in the picture... and lying to Sarah about all of it?  NONE of us deserve that.  How can he.... such an asshole... 

pianoroark: I just... want things to be perfect when you get to IU, shelbi
pianoroark: everything I do now... is based around that
pianoroark: bleh
QuaziBizzle: you could meet someone before then anyway
pianoroark: ... not seriously, shelbi.  not to replace you
pianoroark: you don't need to worry about that
Session Close (pianoroark): Sun Mar 12 01:41:00 2006

Yeah fucking right.

Ahem, anyway, I'll allow my mom one day to see if she can find out if she can get any federal aid for the ap tests... because i had no luck.  So I'll have to go back to my dad's house tomorrow.  Thing is, I left a message for him saying I'd be back tonight.  Oh well.  Anyway, I have... so much hw.  It's ridiculous.  I don't even know where to begin.  SO I'm going to go now.  bye bye

"For some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal." - Grey's Anatomy

I figured I ought to write another entry, seems my last one implies I'm commiting suicide lol.  Whoops.  If you had seen my previous (before I changed it) or my protected entry, it would make perfect sense.  Anyway... yay life!  Glad to... be alive and smell the polluted air... it's awesome.  Whatever.  I played with Nimo this morning.. she was asleep but I woke her up.  I have a feeling I'm going to ostracize myself from people a while and concentrate on my rat.  She's adorable.  Anyway, I think I have to go to church soon.  I really... reeeally don't want to.  I just want to sleep.  I had the oddest dream.  I can't remember most of it... but I was with the cast of the "Golden Girls"... aaand they were all high on pot or drunk or something.  I mean in my dream, it was just hilarious.  Rose was outside trimming the bushes into these grotesque figures... lol... Sophia was running around in her underwear singing "Yankee Doodle"... None of it made any sense... I don't even know where I fit into the dream, exactly.  But oh well, it made me laugh.  Which I needed.  ha.  ha h haa... internet's awesome.  I can express my emotions anyway I please and nobody will ever know the difference.  I could be perfectly happy right now, and testing to see if anybody gives a shit if I were to feel down... But nah.  I'd actually rather people not read this anyway.  Hm maybe it should be protected.  Oh whatever.  I'm rambling.  Well, I did get online for a reason.  Guess I should... get to that.

C'est la vie.

bye

You Are Mountain Dew

Ultra hyper and full of energy, you're on a permanent sugar high. Some people complain about your taste, but the do appreciate your power. Your best soda match: Coke Stay away from: Root Beer

BWHAHAHAHAHA.... lol, but i don't agree with the personality part.  Well, maybe.  lol... I don't know.  The questions were kinda funny.  Like how many pops do you drink a day.... do you prefer coke or pepsi... lol, for that i answered, "Either!  Both!!"  hehe.  I love my pop, what can I say.  Hehehehe I love mountain dew.  I've officially become nocturnal.  I sleep around... 5pm and wake back up around 11pm/12am.  Hehe.  !  And caffeine keeps me going.... mountain deeeeeeeeeeew..... muahaha...  is it a bad sign that I'm shaking?

"Do the dew."

Wow I haven't written in quite a while.  Well, Nimo is doing well!  She is practically full grown already.  And is starting to learn her name.  And never did learn to be potty trained lol.  Oh well, none of my others were either.  I was going to get a mouse to keep her company, but that didn't work out.  Spent the night at Brit's not too long ago.  That fun.    Her house is FREEZING though.  God.  And I had to sleep in the basement lol.  Awesome.  I also had a very humiliating shower episode while at her house...  I guess she and Greg and I are never going to get around to visiting IU.  Brit keeps putting it off.  Sooo I dunno.  Watched "Yours, Mine, and Ours" yesterday.  Hehe I liked it.  One little boy in the movie was soooo adorable!  He was one of the mom's kids.  I want to be his mother lol.  Am I too youuung?  pssh.  Got a book FULL of quotes yesterday.  I love it!  It was really cheap at Walmart, so my mom got it for me.  I collect quotes online... so yeah.  This is really cool lol.  All different categories and all different people.  Although a lot of the quotes don't have an author.. which bothers me, but oh well.  This entry is very mixed up... only because I want to finally document something of my life lately lol.  I don't have a clue how I'm going to pay for the upcoming AP tests... ap gov and ap lit.  I think... I might have to make myself get in touch with my dad again.  Although I have no idea what I'll say.  "Hey Dad, haven't talked to you in a year since you said you didn't want anything more to do with me, but guess what?!  I need over 100 dollars!"  ...mmm yeah.  *sigh*  I somehow have to get on good terms with him before college anyway.  Bleh.  lol... this is torture.  He was such an asshole.  Oh well.  If I can deal with my mom, I can deal with him.  At least he isn't crazy.  Oh and guess what?  My mono is better!  I'm not... abnormally tired anymore.  It has been getting better since I started making myself stay up later... and no longer taking any naps during the day.  I.. I might be cured!  I don't know, though.  No way am I getting another blood test.  I'm terrified of that...  SO I could/could not be contagious.  lol.. anyone wanna find out?!?!?!    Juuust kidding.  I'll just see if the diseased lollipop kills anyone.  (Logy had me lick a tootsie pop so he could give it to someone lol.)  But it sucks.  I mean I could be contagious up to 18 months.  .... but.. I'll never know.  :T  Ah oh well.  Not like I'd want to kiss anyone anyway.  I mean, eww.  I can't think of anyone.  *gags* .... SO lol, I'm going to get started on my giant... GIANT... GIANT load of hw now.   byebye.

"Have you ever noticed that most knocking is done by folks who don't know how to ring the bell?" - anonymous... from my new book hehe     

Aah today was an okay day.  'Twas attacked by a giant mob of huggers in the morning lol.  Always a good way to start off the day... feeling loved!  Yaaay lol.    Weeell... I let my little Nimo out some today.. I'm trying to gradually get her to chill out when she's in the open.  I think it's working.  I just make a circle with my legs in the middle of the room and put her in it... won't let her hide under my leg hehe.  And I'm trying to get her used to abrupt sounds by purposely making a sound... then showing her what it is.. making it while she's sniffing it... (such as squeezing a noisy bag or something)... aand I think that's working.  She's already growing... so weird.  She's so cute!  lol.  I have a routine now... she poops right before I get her out.  Never fails lol.  So, then I don't have to worry about it for quite some time once she's out of her cage.  Aaand she has chosen a new corner for her sewer... I think she's scared of her potty lol.  I'll figure something out.... anyway!  I have lots of hw!  And two tests on Friday!  And I still have more make-up work from when i was sick that I've yet to finish!  ... plus a test!  Aaah the joys of missing a busy week.  It's ridiculous.  I'm swamped every single f-ing day.  And I'm soooo tired.  I mean.. I really get to sleep around midnight.  Which, if you know me, is really good lol.  And I take a nap right when I get home for an hour or two.  And I sleep during the day.  Yet I still feel as if I'm running on 2 hours!!  It's REALLY starting to piss me off.  I hate mono!!!    ..... ahem.  I'm okay.    OH!  I gots my classes for next year.  Added to this will be summer gym and hopefully jazz band.  These are the classes I will have under the correct semester:

SEMESTER ONE:

AP English Comp
Honors Physics I
AP Psychology
French V
Music Theory/Comp I
Band
Orchestra

SEMESTER TWO:

AP English Comp
Honors Physics I
AP Psychology
French V
Guitar!  hehe
Band
Orchestra

Yeah for music classes!!    Hehe.  OH!  I neeeeeeed someone to join guitar with me.  Yes, need.  lol.  I'm afraid I'll be all lonely with a bunch of people I don't know... *curls up in a corner*    SOOOO... if any y'all want to join me in my journey to becoming a faaabulous guitar player, sign up for second semester!    You know you want to... eh?  eeeh?  *poke*  

I gots a rat!  Hehe.  Her name is Nimo Artemis Hunter.    Thus far, she's really tame... buut also extremely scared of everything if I'm not holding her lol.  I'm still trying to get her potty-trained.  I don't think it's working too well.  And I don't think she's learning her name... lol... Got her on Saturday, so we shall see how things go.  Ah wow I'm tired.  .... bedtime!  Yay mono.   

I heard some disturbing news today.  Not sure what to do with it.  If I haven't already known about it, then inquiring about it now will do no good.  Yet... how can I just let it go?  Hm.  It's not that surprising, assuming it's truth.  Which it should be... since my source has always been trustworthy.  I don't know which to doubt.  Two completely different stories, which means I'll have to say someone is a liar.  And I don't know if I can do that to either of my sources.  More likely this news is correct than not.  But... still.  I find it hard to believe... mostly because I don't want to.  Course isn't that how it is with everything?  Anyway, today was an okay day besides that.  Hot dog at lunch and it... tasted like chicken.  Anyway, got a ton of math help from Mr. Patterson lol.  I.. I think I understood him!  hehe.  Aaaand I have lots of history hw... I finally know what I'm going to write about for my 9-week paper!  Tobacco and alcohol laws.    lol... seeee.. in history today, we got into groups and were handed a bill.  Our job was to examine it, amend it if needed, and pass it or defeat it.  (well, we had to pass it so we could continue the discussion).  Aaaand one of the bills in my group was tobacco laws!  Me and this girl got in a bit of a heated debate... me being completely against tobacco and wanting to strengthen the laws.. and her saying, "oh people are going to smoke anyway... I just don't see the point.. I just don't see this... I just don't see that... I'm dumb!"  ahem.  *cough* Who we talkin' about?  Well lol... I won!!!  Not only me -- the entire group voted for it and she was the only one who voted against it lol.  I mean sure, trying to make tobacco illegal is a lost cause at this point... but putting more restrictions on it would sure help.  And the second bill we discussed was alcohol laws!  haha.  I loved history class today.    We didn't get too into the alcohol one before the bell rang, though.  Well, off to do hw.

OH!  And since I didn't enter anything yesterday... Happy Headless Guy Day!  (I'm sure some of you won't get that.)

"Le coeur a ses raisons que le raison ne connait pas." - Pascal